2006 and Marriage Counseling

After the incident with the police Martin and I attempt marriage counseling.  I lay all my feelings out and some concerns I have with Martin.  I was very concerned for one thing that this man didn't like sex.  When we met in 1994 he was a 24 year old virgin and I thought at the time wow that is really neat.  As the years went by I started thinking otherwise.  I was concerned that he was either abused as a child or gay.  I asked him several times and he would say "no".

I remember Martin sharing a story with me about when he was taking a class and met a man named Jerry.  He told me they hung 0ut quite a bit for months; bike rides, dinners and movies.  He told me that this guy invited him to his place one night for a soak in the hot tub and well walking Martin to his car he told he loved him and tried to kiss him.  I thought most men could tell if a guy was interested in them.  In no way am I against gay people at all.  We all live the lives we want.  But as the years passed this brought up some red flags.  We were out looking at RVs one day and I guess Jerry was there too and he ran me out of that place so fast.  It made me think he was hiding something.

If Martin is gay I think I should of been made aware of this; after all it would be my decision to marry a man in limbo.  Martin would never dare come clean if he is because it would disappoint his mom and his mom wants everyone to believe she has these perfect children and family and everything is everyone elses fault.

Well Martin is sent to another counselor for his control issues but drops out because he doesn't think he needs to be there.  I continue to go on my own and the counselor tells me to divorce this man.

Would of should of could of!  Well it's to late I can't go back in time.