This pregnancy was tougher than I could of ever imagined!

I'm 11 weeks pregnant and I'm bleeding a lot.  I thought nothing could be left inside me.  I grab the baby beat monitor and called my doctor.  I told her I could still hear a heart beat.  Being pregnant with twins makes it difficult to distinguish one or two heart beats this early; but I did know there was someone still living in there.

We go to the doctor the next morning for an ultra sound and the bleeding has stopped by then.  We were relieved to see two strong heart beats.  I had a ruptured blood clot that caused the bleeding.  I was told to go on strict bedrest for the remainder of my pregnancy.  

At 14 weeks we do another Cervical Cerclage and I'm beyond nervous.  I felt so terrible because I couldn't lift my 8 mth old son.  We had to have help come in to care for my son and myself well Martin was at work.

My son started sleeping with us most of the time because I wanted him near me.  It was so hard not to be able to carry him like I used too.

I never thought my pregnancy would be this difficult.  I thought since I had one baby with a very happy ending I could do one more.  Being pregnant with twins was extremely hard on my body and my blood pressure is becoming a major issue now.  I'm on the anti-depressant again plus more blood pressure pills.

I'm feeling as anxious as I did when I lost my first son.