I didn't want to do In Vitro again and the fear is overwhelming

It's about 6 weeks after I buried my son and I'm still experiencing fear of basically everything.  I could not believe that my husband would tell me that it would be suicide to our marriage if I didn't try In Vitro again.  I just lost my baby and I don't know who I am anymore and this man is telling me our marriage would be over if I didn't try to conceive again!  I had lost so much already I couldn't imagine another loss.

Well I did give in and started the process all over again in June of 2001; all the hormone injections and visits to the doctor for blood draws and ultra sounds.  I was in a daze through this cycle. 

I never knew any being would want to or could grow inside me at this point but it's August and I'm pregnant again.