Starting a new journey after infertility issues, a very bitter divorce and custody battle. I want to share my past and present experiences to help myself heal and hopefully help others.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Why follow through and have children with this man; you must all be thinking?
I was determined to live my dream of motherhood and have this great marriage until we were old and gray; after all we don't grow up and say to ourselves "I want to get married to some jerk and get divorced". I truly intended to have the "American Dream". I stayed in the marriage because when I grew up I saw some of my strong role models together "until death do them part" and I believed you need to make sacrifices to have the same and I was willing do this.
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Gina I know how you feel. I had 2 disappointments. #1 had(has)mental health issues I didnt want my children raised around.He has since agreed my leaving with the children was the best decision for the situation. #2 husband is Gay.I confronted him several times over the years and in his unhappiness in living a lie to please his Mother and Father (very homophobic)he made my life a living hell. My children think I was the Queen B*^&%, but everything I did kept food on the table and a roof over our heads.My children (including my oldest 2 from the first marriage)think my EX was and is the greatest Dad in the world, while I am still the evil one. It hurts everyday but as Khalil Gibran says "our children come through us" We can not live our lives just for them. If I had thought of that years ago...I could have saved myself 10 years of misery. Be strong, be true to yourself and continue your diary if that makes YOU happy! God Bless
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